


Facing the Music

by amusawale



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post-Episode: s03e08 A Walk Into Darkness, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 10:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amusawale/pseuds/amusawale
Summary: Alec feels guilty, Magnus feels bad. They discuss the way forward.





	Facing the Music

Alec was sitting on Magnus' bed, staring off into space. His gut was churning with acid as he replayed over and over, Jace's pleading face.

 _"Promise me?_ " he'd begged.

And Alec had promised.

Then promptly broken that promise.

He groaned, covering his face with his hands.

"Alec..." Magnus' voice drifted in from the doorway, "Tell me what I can do."

Alec shook his head back and forth without lifting it from his hands. He took a deep breath and then sat up.

"I'm fine," he said.

Magnus shook his head, straightening up from the door jamb and walking toward Alec, "You're _not_ fine, Alec. I'd be surprised if you were."

"We promised," Alec whispered.

"And you will keep that promise. We will get him back. I don't care what I have to do to make that happen."

Alec turned his head to look at Magnus, brow furrowing at the faraway look in Magnus' eyes.

"Magnus?" he said reaching out with his hand to cover Magnus'. His boyfriend's eyes returned from whatever wasteland he'd been in and he stretched his lips in a parody of a smile, turning his hand in Alec's so their hands were clasped.

"What are you thinking?" Alec demanded eyes narrowed.

Magnus' lips twisted as he looked away.

"Magnus!" Alec said, now feeling rather alarmed.

"She said...she didn't want to start a war with my father. That she was afraid to." Magnus said his voice soft and filled with speculation. Alec's heart constricted at his words. He knew. He _knew_ it meant nothing good.

"Magnus, I already lost Jace. Don't make me lose you too."

Magnus beringed hand came up to cup Alec's cheek, "You won't," he whispered but his eyes said he wasn't so sure about that.

Alec leaned in, cupping Magnus' neck in turn and pulling him closer, "Please..." he said not really sure what he was asking for.

Magnus bridged the gap between their lips, pressing them both together as if he wanted to swallow Alec whole. Alec leaned in, let him have everything he wanted, but he knew that it was a distraction. A means to get Alec to forget his question. In normal circumstances, it might even have worked.

But today, he was too raw, too sensitive to the fragility of relationships.

So he allowed Magnus to kiss him, hold him close, love him; but he couldn't reciprocate. Not until he knew what put that look in Magnus' eyes. Magnus pulled back as if he'd read Alec's mind.

He sighed, letting his cat eyes show as his face fell.

"We can't beat her on our own. And she's afraid of my father," Magnus said.

Alec was already shaking his head, "No no no no no no no," he whispered, holding Magnus' hands in a death grip.

"Alexander, I have to."

"You don't. You really don't. This isn't your fight!"

Magnus smiled, looking both indulgent and sad, "Alexander...all your fights are my fights. You know this."

Alec made a hurt sound, burying his head in Magnus' neck, hand fisted on his shirt, unable to breathe, "There is no guarantee that your father would help us," he whispered.

"Nothing is guaranteed, Alexander."

Alec flopped backward onto the bed, eyes staring in despair up at the ceiling.

"I will come back Alexander. I promise."

Alec's eyes sought Magnus', "Like I promised Jace?" he asked.

Magnus just looked away.

 


End file.
